When The Right One Comes Along by Lu Huskey
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you just
weren’t willing to wait for it? Patience runs
thin when we are in a hurry and want things right now;
especially when it comes to love. It seems we just can’t
accept ourselves as we should and just enjoy our own
company. We honestly do need to know ourselves before
we try to get to know someone else too intimately. By
being secure in our own self-esteem and confidence,
we are able to go places and enjoy things, even when
we might be alone, because we truly are our own best
friend.
Rose had been married and divorced twice, and with
that track record, she was very reluctant to get into
any kind of new relationship. Most men started out treating
her in a very kind, very compassionate way, but after
marriage, it seemed things changed and she just felt
as if she was being taken advantage of.
She did keep dating, however, because the one thing
in life that she didn’t want was to be alone.
Her mother, Alice, had lived a life of loneliness and
Rose wasn’t about to follow in her footsteps.
At six years old, her father died from an unforeseeable
illness, leaving her mother to raise three children
on her own. Without much money, Alice was forced to
go out into the workplace making a living to support
her little family and without much education, she ended
up in minimum wage jobs that barely made ends meet.
Rose was left alone with her other sisters quite often,
and as an adult, she longed for male affection and companionship.
Her one goal in life was to find a man. She wanted
this more than anything else, especially since she had
never really known the love of a man before. Her first
husband she married at 18, which enabled her to get
out of the house and start her own place in life. He
was a 17-year-old guy in the military, so somewhat like
her mother, she ended up alone much of the time, which
was certainly not what she had in mind. Joe would write
her letters and call her on the telephone, which was
some comfort, but it wasn’t the same as waking
up together in each other’s arms. Being such an
immature age, he also succumbed to the advances of other
women while he was away, which ended the marriage after
just two years. Rose just couldn’t deal with knowing
that he was playing around with other women and she
wasn’t about to sit home and wait while that was
going on.
Out of money and love, Rose moved back home with Alice
and her little sisters, only to be told over and over
how foolish she was to move out in the first place and
marry such a loser guy. Alice had never liked Joe, and
had never minded letting her know it.
Once again, Rose met a very good looking fellow who
she knew must be the right one, so she married him.
Again, he was unfaithful to her and she divorced him.
She was ready to just give up on ever having anyone
who would be true to her.
Rose wondered if she could ever hold onto a man again,
but that didn’t stop her from marrying the first
man who came along. He was an older man and a business
owner with money, so that was a deciding factor in her
decision to rush into marriage. She needed emotional
and financial stability and this was what she was waiting
for. The problem with this one is that she didn’t
really love him as a wife should love a husband. He
was such a nice man though, and going back to her need
to have a male figure in her life, she married him after
just dating him just 5 weeks. What a diamond ring he
gave her! It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry
she had ever seen!
About two years later their first baby came along,
and such a pretty baby she was. Little Diana was everything
to Rose, so they decided to have another child, and
Jake was born not long afterwards. Here she was, a housewife
in a beautiful home with two beautiful children and
a loving husband; but he was a husband she didn’t
love and that left her with an emptiness she had never
known.
One day, she decided to get involved with a local civic
group in her town. She met a good-looking guy who was
close to her age. He was such a friendly man and so
charismatic. Rose had never met anyone like him and
she was immediately drawn to Charles. He wasn’t
married and they had endless chats at the meetings she
attended, but she felt herself growing closer and closer
to him. What would she do? Here she was falling in love
with the man of her dreams. Finally someone she had
waited for all of her life had appeared, but it was
too late because she already was set in a marriage with
small children and felt there was no way out.
Rose went to these civic meetings every week, meeting
Charles there and always going for coffee afterwards,
but nothing more. After her first two failed marriages
and her ex-husband’s infidelities, she could not
go down this road herself. She remembered the hurt she
felt and just could not inflict this on her children
or her devoted husband. So, she remained “friends”
with Charles for several years before the time came
when he asked her to decide between the life she had
and the life of love he could offer. But, so afraid
of losing little Diana and Jake, she declined him over
and over until finally he left town and she never heard
from him again. As the old song tells us, it truly is
“sad to belong to someone else when the right
one comes along…”
Our friend Rose was just in too big of a hurry to “get
hitched”. She felt incomplete without a man, and
this was partly due to the absence of a father in her
life. By not growing up around men, she had a deep need
to fill that void, but had she recognized this as the
reason or basis for all these relationships, perhaps
Rose might have made better choices. We do deserve the
best and the best certainly is worth waiting for.
Patience is such a virtue that, as a whole, we all
have to work on in life. By not waiting for the right
husband (or wife), we are doing ourselves an injustice.
By marrying the wrong people just to get out of the
house or keep from being alone, we sacrifice our very
souls by living with people we really don’t love
(or sometimes even like) that much. Always be fair to
yourself, and true to your heart and feelings and you
will never find yourself alone in this world.
Lu Huskey is an aspiring writer, liturgical musician,
and owner of her own consulting company. Her experience
in relationships is reflected in a successful 20 years
marriage and being a mother of three.
Lu writes for DrDating – a web site for anyone
looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles,
E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites
all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of
some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com
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