Finding Someone Special by Cheryl Lewis
Browsing through the personal classifieds can be quite
frustrating if you really don’t know what qualities
or the type of personality it is that you are searching
for in the person you are seeking, or in the relationship
you are seeking.
Questions you need to ask yourself before and as you
are reading through the personal sections again are:
Why are you searching for someone, do you want a companion,
a serious relationship or just to make friends with
someone new with the hopes of dating. Who are you looking
for, are you searching for someone tall, short, thin,
stout, young, old, divorced, widowed, single, married,
and the list goes on to include all personal choices
and preferences in people.
Discussing this theory a little more in detail - If
you have a problem dating someone with kids, you should
skip over the classifieds that reveal those people who
have kids or you will only be letting yourself down
in the end when you are building a relationship. This
theory pertains to all of the listings, for example,
if you are searching for someone that is just for you,
without ever sharing that person with another, search
for someone who has never been married or who is not
a widow (widower). Once you know whom you are searching
for, you will be able to read the personal classifieds
with more confidence and decision making abilities.
Read the classifieds completely, tracking the writing
that interests you the most so that you can go back
and compare, reread or contact that person. Reading
through the entire personal section, or at very least
the section that applies your target interest group,
you will find a variety of people with vast differences
in personalities just through the short descriptions
available.
Now is the tough time to write your contact letter,
made much simpler if you have already created your profile
for replies to read about you. Starting your reply is
easy with an opening such as, ‘I have read your
profile and found you are most intriguing (interesting,
exciting, provocative)’ or you could use something
more elaborate such as ‘Your profile interested
me to the point where I had to contact you right away
to find out what we have in common’. While there
are many expressions and various phrases you can use
when writing your opening letter, the contact letter
is truly going to be a reflection of your personality,
and what you are searching for in a relationship.
The first example of ‘I have read your profile
and found you are most intriguing’, would reveal
that you are interested. Are you searching for friendship
in the classified section? Try using the first example
building on that sentence to read along the lines of:
‘I would like the opportunity to get to know you
better and talk a while’. But if you are searching
for a lover through the personals, the second sentence
could read: ‘I really would love to get to know
you better, find out what type of person you are searching
for and hopefully to create a match with you’.
The point here is to keep your true feelings within
the boundaries of words, not scaring off someone if
you are just wanting to be friends, while on the other
hand if you are searching for a lover don’t hide
behind words of a friendly chat.
Top ideas to use in your opening introduction letter
are express your interest to your potential ‘date’
using your writing to express why you are contacting
that person. Reveal to this person how you propose to
meet their needs in their search for a friend, companion
or lover using expressive words such as ‘I intend
to’ or ‘I would like to’ or even ‘I
have been searching through the classifieds and found
your profile appealing to me because’. Give just
a few hints about your where you are located, without
revealing to much about your without determining whether
the two of you will continue a conversation. Use phrases
like, ‘I am from the east coast’ or ‘I
live south of California’ or other such general
terms, revealing your location to a particular location
through later conversations. Your initial contact with
a proposed ‘date’ should be about the type
of person you are searching for, why you have been using
resources online to search for someone special, and
what you are hoping to gain from a relationship from
this person with personal details revealed through additional
conversations as your ‘relationship’ trust
grows.
Online personals have been created for the user to
act anonymously while investigating the possibilities
of friendship, love and for finding that someone special
to spend your life with. Using your thoughts and feelings
through this situation, creatively with expressive words
without misleading readers will allow you to reach your
destination, of finding that someone special, faster
and easier that you would be able to in any other situation.
Cheryl Lewis, freelance writer, married and mother
of three. Based in the Mountains of PA
Cheryl writes for DrDating – a web site for anyone
looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles,
E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites
all over the world. DrDating also offers reviews of
some of the most popular dating sites and books.
http://www.DrDating.com
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