Single in the Mid-Thirties – Things To Consider
by Heather Jaillett
It doesn’t matter how you got to be single in
your mid-thirties. What does matter, however, is that
you have certain priorities in order so that you can
protect yourself and those you date from getting hurt.
There are too many reasons to list on why you’re
on the market at this stage in your life, but you should
be clear on your goals, both long and short-term. You
don’t want to be led on or trapped into something
you didn’t want in the first place.
The very first things you need to consider are your
short and long-term relationship goals. If you are a
confirmed bachelor (or bachlorette) you definitely don’t
want to be dating someone who is determined to settle
down and start a family. Age is often tied to this as
well. A twenty-something may be looking for a good time
or to tie the knot. While a boy toy or trophy can be
fun in the short-term, if you are looking for a serious
relationship you may want to look elsewhere.
There are a lot of things to consider when dating either
above or below your age bracket. If you fall for someone
who is a lot younger, you may get hurt because they
can lack maturity that comes only from life experience.
Twenty-somethings are often still trying to figure out
where they fit in, and are still forming their goals.
Another problem is children; they may or may not want
them. If you get really serious, as in any age bracket,
you need to discuss each other’s views on children.
On the other hand, if you date someone much older than
you there are some problems to be aware of as well.
Older people tend to have already decided what they
want out of life, and generally are not too excited
to change course. If you really want to settle down,
don’t go chasing after the man or woman who has
no intention of a long-term relationship. Also, there
are certain generation gaps that have to be considered.
Your older lover may not appreciate going to see your
favorite rock group in concert. With consideration and
understanding, however, many obstacles of dating older
and younger people can be overcome.
Another thing to consider is your financial position.
Have you dedicated the last ten years to getting ahead
in your career and the rewards that come with that?
Are you willing to give up half of your money in a divorce?
You will have to decide what is important depending
on the person you are dating. Even people who aren’t
married have had their lover run off with the bank account.
Protect yourself, and if necessary, seek the advice
of an attorney before you propose or accept a proposal.
Finally, if you have children you need to consider
the type of people that are entering your life. Do you
want to bring any and all of your dates to meet them,
or are you going to wait for someone fairly serious?
You also have to try to uphold the values that you want
your children to follow in their lives. You are a role
model, and how you conduct yourself does make an impression
on your children.
In short, be smart about what you are doing. Don’t
leave yourself open to be taken advantage of. Most of
all, though, have fun and good luck in pursuing your
romantic endeavors.
Heather Jaillett is a freelance writer from Washington
State. After extensive dating she finally found her
soul mate. She still advises many on dating solutions,
and is constantly researching relationships and romance.
Exploring ways to add romance to electronic communication
is also another pursuit she enjoys.
Heather Jaillett writes for DrDating – a web
site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds
of articles, E-Books and links to some great dating
and love sites all over the world. DrDating also offers
reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and
books.
http://www.DrDating.com
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